Canoniac Launcher 2: Repeatedly firing robots from a cannon to high altitude for entertainment & undisclosed sums of money

Canoniac Launcher 2

If you enjoy launch games but are tired of firing the same old human out of the same old boring cannon time and time again, Canoniac Launcher 2 marks the return of the robot-firing, never-tiring pastime of shooting an automaton from cannons to earn money to be able to afford better ways of firing an automaton from cannons. It's the perfect pastime for those that hate or fear machines, and also for fans of earning fake money for doing something about it.

Do You Grind?

Sometimes I yearn to live in the days when firing yourself from a cannon was considered a profession. Well, I’m assuming it was a profession anyhow since I’ve seen several instances of footage that suggests it must have been at very least a part-time vocation: one of the guys was wearing a suit, for a god’s sake, and if that doesn’t prove the professional status of this literal cannon fodder then I don’t know what does. Either way, encouraging humans to travel great distance through the air by applying sudden and massive force to them via cannon is a little out of fashion in the real world, but the flash world has an alternative: Canoniac Launcher 2, which sees the arrival of our flailing robot once again. Ensure that ol’ rusty travels as far as possible by launching him and earning money to improve various aspects of said launch; weapons, vehicles, cannons, and a variety of upgrades are up for earning, as long as you don’t mind a bit of good, ol’ fashioned grinding.

Canonista

So you’ve decided to take up flash-based launching of robots as your new pastime? Congratulations, since it’s a very simple way of frittering away the minutes of your break time since all you have to do is set the angle of the cannon by using the mouse, click, and then release when the rapidly-fluctuating power indicator is as full as possible. The idea is simply to launch your robot as far as physically possible, earning money while you do so. Your journey is both enhanced and hindered by a variety of garden-variety objects such as spring-loaded aliens to keep your launch going for a few seconds longer to flame-shooting machines that seem to upset and char our robot friend a little. In all honesty, there really isn’t that much skill to it beyond achieving maximum launch power: after that, it’s really all down to luck, which is where this game really falls flat and unfortunately always has done.

Voiding the Warranty

Likely ignoring the manufacturer’s recommendations, you are allowed to upgrade your initially unremarkable robot as well as the weapons that he can carry and also the very cannon from which he is launched. Purchasing a magnet allows you attract more money in your launches, a helicopter carries you greater distances, and a rocket allows you to travel even further. Weapons fulfil various functions like increasing acceleration and getting you to stay in the air for longer, and three different cannons of increasing power can also be purchased. The upgrades are useful and have novelty value at first, but they really aren’t on par with those from the infinitely more distinctive Berserk Ball 2.

Keeping the Receipt

As much as the upgrades are fun to achieve, grinding for even the very first upgrade is somewhat of a chore, as is trying to remain interested in the action long enough to get to a stage where you have enough upgrades to travel respectable distances. There’s nothing poor about the design, with the graphics even being a little polished but this doesn’t really make up for the fact that the game both looks and feels like one of the many standard launch games of generic standing, and with games like Into Space 2 in existence, developers can’t really afford to produce forgettable titles these days, which is exactly what Canoniac Launcher 2 is. Better luck next time, FunBun Games.